Friday, 10 January 2014

Breaking News: Joey Simnett to Run as CF Chair

Tonight has seen another entry to the race to be national chairman of CF. Joey TK (no one has no idea what these two letters stand for) Simnett has been outed by his campaign manager Victoria Adams as wanting to replace Oliver Cooper later this year. Joey goes to York University and is President of the York Libertarian Society.

Victoria said to #ThingsElliottSays "Its lovely to see my loyal friend, Joey, enter the all exciting race for Conservative Future chair. As a Libertarian Blairite it's going to be super fun seeing how his policies goes down with CF voters."

Joey is a great fan of #TeamJasmine

Ellie Sharman, Joey's PR manager from Oxford University, has said, "Joey is a candidate with a huge variety of experience in the political arena, and is thoroughly devoted to CF and its membership. He is approachable, down-to-earth, and - despite the brevity of his participation thus far - has a fresh and unrivalled dedication to the Conservative party."

She continues by saying "Joey welcomes supporters from across the political spectrum, and is delighted to support lively, diverse debate within Conservative Future and the party as a whole." I hope Joey isn't expecting the Green Party to be a part of his 'supporters from across the political spectrum', he may lose his Presidents role.

Joey with his campaign team.

Joey himself has said "I am delighted to announce my candidacy for the role of CF Chair. Whilst this may come as a surprise to many of my friends, it has in fact been a long time in the offing. I am devoted to the Conservative party, and to its youth membership in particular. Since Lady Thatchers death I felt her spirit dived into me. It was almost like an awakening. And this is why I have decided to put my name forward, for Thatcher and for Freedom. I am going to take this fight seriously, I want to see a real future, for Conservative Future'.

"I fully intend to give my utmost to this role, and will at no point use it as a career stepping-stone or take advantage of its benefits in any other way. The position of CF Chair is a serious and important one, and I hope that the gravitas with which I approach this election will be evident to all."

Joey has also released his first campaign poster.


The observant ones amongst you may have noticed that  this article stated out as a joke rummour started by Victoria Adams, the comedian of CF, so blame her. Joey originally wasn't running for CF chairman however things seemingly have changed and is now going to try in the CF elections. Joey's campaign seems to be going well.

Joey has got some great Campaign posters.

Joey has also met Nigel Farage. But I doubt he would be happy with him now.

 Joey is a great friend of Oliver Cooper.

He also loves his campaign team equally.


  1. Robert Winfield's Lovechild11 January 2014 at 00:29

    Fuck me sideways

  2. I'd rather not. And nor would anyone else.

  3. A "libertarian Blairite"? SOMEONE'S STOLEN MY IDENTITY!!1!1!!11ONE!111!!


  5. Oh For God's Sake - this is getting old now...