Monday, 30 December 2013

Breaking News: Chackers to Stand as CF Chair

Sarah Jane and #TeamShadow have now got competition from Laurence Chacksfield (Chackers) for the race to be CF Chair. Chackers works as a Tory researcher in Parliament and studied at Queen Mary in London. This is what has been spied on Facebook.

Victoria Adams has said "I feel like something astoundly special this evening. We have been given the announcement that a Mr Laurence Patricia Chackfiled is going to be running for Conservative Future Chair. This news is particularly heart warming for me as its so close to home, being a former Queen Mary Conservative Chair and helped showed me the ropes of campus Tory life. I hope we can all join together to support this ultrasound candidate in seeing him elected as the true heir to Conservative Future"

Chackers himself

The reem Stephen Canning of Towie and Made in Chelsea fame has said "The election is some way off and we have a chairman at the moment who has a lot he still wants to achieve before his term is up. If Laurence is standing then best of luck to an incredibly sound CF'er and YBF alumini!"

However #ThingsEllliottSays has been told that this may be one big colossal joke. Sources close to Chackers say he is out drinking with his friends and hasn't "got bored yet of a joke which wasn't even really that funny at conference". I have also spoken to a source close to his girlfriend who says that "he can get carried away when he's drinking" and that they do not think that his girlfriend would be very pleased if he stood. Clearly there are some practical jokers that wanted to make Sarah Jane and Mahyar sweat.

Chackers is at the Pub.


Reports are now coming in from the pub of the scene of Chackers announcing his CF candidacy. These seem to be more of the serious kind rather than a joke. The Source at the Heart of the Campaign has said exclusively to #ThingsElliottSays Chackers is "upset that unis aren't treated the same as branch members, that cf doesn't do enough to bring new people into the party and that the other candidates are useless. He'll only run if Cooper doesn't." The last part is hard to disagree with. 

Cigars and Scotch.

The first campaign meeting for Chackers' campaign is currently taking place and involves cigars and scotch. Mo Metcalf Fisher is also said to be including Chackers in his next CF polls to see what people think of him. People have also taken to Facebook declaring themselves to be a #ChackerBacker.

Stephen Canning is also seeing the funny side of this whole event.

Update 2

#ThingsElliottSays' suspicion was correct. Chackers is not standing for CF Chair and the whole of last night was a massive joke. Apparently Chackers was sleeping for a large part of the joke. The Chackers Backers must be very upset.


  1. Fletcher's Y fronts31 December 2013 at 00:04

    I hear chackers is sleeping with JSJ to get inside gossip on cooper to use against him

  2. Fine man, I am definitely a chacker backer

  3. He's sleeping with Sarah Jane, common knowledge.

  4. Anyone as long as it is not that imbecile sjs